One word – “inappropriate” Last week, at the Iowa Employment Conference I heard employment law expert, Michael Reck, point out that the word “inappropriate” has no place in employee handbooks. He went on to say this is because courts have … Read More
Leaders avoid saying things that shut down discussion and communication; some of these are obviously intended to do this, so using them can damage your credibility also. Here are some examples: “…Enough said.” or the colloquial “‘nuf said.” “Last time … Read More
Here’s a phrase to purge: …that would be great. Two reasons why: 1) It’s not specific. If we know that people are more engaged when presented with frequent, specific, direct feedback, then we need to seek out chances to be … Read More
The phrase “I don’t care” is often used to give permission. It may be splitting hairs to talk about this phrase, but this blog has often been picky about the words that we use. Words are important. Three points, in … Read More
Consistent negative talk will create a negative culture. A constant drumbeat of “don’t forget” “don’t be late” “don’t screw that up” “don’t talk to me right now” can be pretty discouraging. If you can rephrase things using positive words, a better atmosphere is created. Better atmosphere = more encouraging = more productive.
If, as research has shown, people are motivated by autonomy, then there is a class of words we ought to avoid, as they can crush autonomy. These may include “ought,” or “must,” but let’s focus on the one that seems to pass judgement:
“SHOULD”
Successful leaders consistently find ways to avoid “me, myself, and I” in their communications; this keeps the focus on others. A nice exception; the use of personal failures to make points. Self-deprecation is…
We are at our best when we feel in control of our fate. In other words, when we have a sense of autonomy, we are more likely to make better choices and take ownership of those choices. Additionally, we inspire … Read More
No one is immune to defensiveness. When we feel attacked, our first inclination is to self-protect. This comes in various forms—denial, deflection, excuses, projection. But defensiveness rarely works and ends up hurting our relationships. The third Horseman: Defensiveness Dr. John … Read More
Perhaps it goes without saying, but it is important to note here: positive behaviors build relationships and negative behaviors destroy relationships. We’ve discussed in this blog the 3:1 feedback ratio. This ratio says for every piece of negative feedback you … Read More