Leaders avoid saying things that shut down discussion and communication; some of these are obviously intended to do this, so using them can damage your credibility also.
Here are some examples:
“…Enough said.” or the colloquial “‘nuf said.”
“Last time I checked,” followed by something like “this was still a free country.”
“No offense, but…”
A great alternative to the last one is “yes, AND” or, “maybe… it is ALSO true that…”
In your next give-and-take – especially if it’s heated – ask yourself (or put on a sticky note in front of you):
“Is my language shutting down the conversation, or keeping it open?”
And remember to sometimes just say “I don’t know – what do YOU think?“
What about saying my door is usually open?
That’s a good one, Doctor — really strikes the right balance. “Usually open.” I think people like the truth. Sometimes.
I’m guessing there’s never been a positive response after someone says “No offense, BUT..”
I would wager so, Shawn!