Grace Archives - Alan Feirer: Group Dynamic

Productive Conflict: Stop Blaming

April 3, 2019 by Alan Feirer

“Yeah, I ran over my time limit for the meeting, but if Susan had been on time, we could have started the meeting on time.” “Oh, sorry about that. Rickie forgot to include her report. She had information I needed, … Read More… Read More

Communication | Positivity

Productive Conflict: Communicate Respectfully

March 6, 2019 by Alan Feirer

Have you ever been in conflict with someone who just lets it all hang out there? They have no filter and say everything and anything they’re thinking, regardless of how it comes off? My guess is your answer is yes. … Read More… Read More

Communication | Positivity

Productive Conflict: Acknowledge the Feelings of Others

February 6, 2019 by Alan Feirer

Sometimes, by simply acknowledging the feelings of others, you can deflate destructive conflict behaviors and guide the conversation back to being productive. This is an empathetic move. One where you put yourself in their shoes in order to experience their perceptions, … Read More… Read More

Communication | Integrity

Leaders Follow the Best Advice Lou Holtz Ever Heard

October 3, 2018 by Alan Feirer

Recently, I had the chance to hear legendary football coach Lou Holtz deliver a keynote address. He’s best known for turning around the Notre Dame football program, and one of my favorite factoids about that process is that he removed … Read More… Read More

Communication | Modeling Behavior | Stretching and Growing

Leaders Address Belittling During Conflict

June 14, 2017 by Alan Feirer

Belittling can be direct, like calling someone an idiot, or it can be slightly more subtle. Either way, when our back is against the wall in a conflict situation, and things turn unhealthy, making others look small is a tactic that can rear its ugly head. … Read More

Integrity | Vision

Leaders Balance Perspective on Others

July 22, 2015 by Alan Feirer

If there’s one skill that leaders must master and habitually improve, it’s communication. I say “habitually improve”, because it’s impossible to communicate flawlessly ALL the time. But – we can sure try! Take a look at this story about a … Read More… Read More

Communication | Integrity | Positivity

Q: When can you criticize freely?

February 5, 2014 by Alan Feirer

A: When the relationship is strong enough, AND, according to coach John Robinson: “Never criticize until the person is convinced of your unconditional confidence in their abilities.” When I think of the people in my life that I willingly take … Read More… Read More

Communication | Integrity | Modeling Behavior

Another Leader’s Dilemma: Grace vs. Enabling

September 18, 2013 by Alan Feirer

Jayson and Alan discuss: Sometimes leaders need to walk the fine line between consistency and flexibility. Related Post: Grace vs. Enabling… Read More

Communication | Integrity

Leaders avoid interrupting and having the last word.

August 7, 2013 by Alan Feirer

Matt and Alan discuss the ways that interrupting or insisting on having the last word can interfere with a leader’s intention to connect with others. Related posts: Effective leaders stand out: Part one Part two… Read More

Communication | Integrity | Modeling Behavior

Leaders apologize, and teach others how to do so

July 10, 2013 by Alan Feirer

Matt shares the Quantum Apology Model with Alan; the AAMR method helps leaders – and anyone – apologize with sincerity and grace in order to improve positive relationships and move forward from conflict or misunderstanding. Related posts: What if someone … Read More… Read More