“Normal” is such a relative term which encompasses a broad spectrum. Since the start of this pandemic, the phrase “new normal” has been used everywhere for just about every situation. The idea is that the pre-pandemic world was “normal,” and … Read More
Have you ever been in a conflict situation where you feel your heart rate increase, sweat lines your brow, and your whole body wants to go into fight or flight mode? Yeah, we all have. Dr. Gottman refers to this … Read More
No one is immune to defensiveness. When we feel attacked, our first inclination is to self-protect. This comes in various forms—denial, deflection, excuses, projection. But defensiveness rarely works and ends up hurting our relationships. The third Horseman: Defensiveness Dr. John … Read More
Building and maintaining positive relationships take work and intentionality. Needless to say, relationships are easier in the absence of strong emotion and conflict. But when conflict leads to strong emotions, we have a prime opportunity to build trust and strengthen … Read More
I recently read an article by Scott Warrick containing a practical model for looking at trust development. It’s helpful, and I’m highlighting the coolest point. “Seek out points of disagreement with people, then make the disagreement safe.” I’ve written about … Read More
You’ve read a lot on this blog about feedback and how to give it. I’ve often reiterated how the old “compliment sandwich” is tired, transparent, and holds the possibility of backfiring. First, let’s review what a compliment sandwich is and … Read More
In a recent team-development session, we made some important growth happen. Growing as a team isn’t arbitrary, and it doesn’t happen without real, hard work. And it especially doesn’t happen when the team lacks vulnerability-based trust. As with building trust … Read More
Chris McQueen, former Google employee, delivered a keynote address on some of the best practices his unit has learned, and I’ll share two of them with you. This week, I’ll offer some thoughts on generating solid team relationships. Next week, … Read More
If you’ve been following for a while, you’ll notice that this blog is loaded with lists. That’s because hard-working people respond well to quick and actionable ideas and tools. Something else that you may have noticed is that I’m usually … Read More
I really appreciate—and have totally used—Brené Brown’s tools. You can find downloadables on her website. Brené Brown recommends the following phrases to push vulnerable and trusting conversations forward: “The story I make up…” Often, we have an experience and don’t … Read More